I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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