need another drink. this is the easiest way
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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