She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
