Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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