Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize