but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
