Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
