I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
