peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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