lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
