The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
