oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
high people should be assigned attendants
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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