I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
