i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
