just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize