when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We are two peas in an std pod
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
