Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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