office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
