kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
