Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
