At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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