Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
