Having a random hookup so left but love u
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
