So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
