First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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