like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
