I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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