i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
