I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
