I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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