Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
