my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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