is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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