38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
