i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
