I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
