bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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