Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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