My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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