Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
