we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
