i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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