Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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