He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
is it fun? or sober?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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