shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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