I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
