I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize