4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
