At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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