you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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