how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
