I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize