Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
