My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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