Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
