You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
