what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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