i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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