Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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