i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
