After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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