He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize