I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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