This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
