Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
