You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
