super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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