you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
