i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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